whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
