My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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