drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize