Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
