Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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