Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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