We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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