Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
