yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had to cum in my sink.
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