I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
