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I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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