Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
