I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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