I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
