holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
