that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize