I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
