dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
