Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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