you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
