McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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