Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
