That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
