She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize