There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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