Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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