the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Green mimosas i think yes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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