Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize