if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize