Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize