Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
