Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
