She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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