Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
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