Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i now understand why vodka
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
