Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize