Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
