so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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