you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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