I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I didn't shave. On purpose
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
