Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
