Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
