K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
