wanna go halves on a baby?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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