I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
