He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
did i walk over a car last night?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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