Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
