Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
