So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
