How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
