Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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