I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
