I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
