So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
