The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize