Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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