Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
