She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
