I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
