I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize