Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
