So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
