she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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