I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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