I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
